Sunday series: reflection on US, Black people and our relationship with ourselves and unsolicited relationships with others (unsolicited because “slavery was 400 years ago, get over it” reflexes from everyone around us – except us).
DMX was born on the 18th of December 1970 in New York. He was dropped at an early age, too early age, by his mom in a children’s home, and had to survive a hostile and abusive environment. The memory of his mom lying to him, telling him she will be back for him, contributed to his feelings of abandonment. He stated in an interview how he was tricked by his mentor to take hard drug as a teenager. He also reported being sexually taken advantage of by a Cougar while still being a teenager. His sister, talking about him in the video below this article, explains why she tried to help children in “the system”, giving credit to the act of charity. His career as a rapper does not need to be mentioned in our article as you would have to be living under a rock or in ignorance of music to not know about Dark Man X. You are simply not our audience, if you do not know or care about DMX (bye bye now …).
<< In 2013, the rapper filed for bankruptcy. He listed $50,000 in assets in the filing and between $1 million and $10 million in liabilities. Some of those obligations included $1.24 million in child support and $24,000 on an auto lease. A few years later, DMX found himself in more financial trouble. He was accused of tax fraud after not filing any tax returns between 2010 and 2015. He pleaded guilty to $1.4 million in tax fraud and was sentenced to one year in prison. The rapper served his time, but he still had to pay $2.3 million for the taxes owed. >> Source: Gossipcop.
DMX has suffered a heart attack on Friday 9th of April (on the same day than the Prince/King of England). It is alleged that it was due to a drug overdose. It is equally alleged that it was due to receiving a COVID-19 injection, prior to his passing. The second scenario would be devastating for the campaign encouraging vaccination promoted by many Black celebrities trying to convince the Black community to trust the experimental solution for this virus. A woman named Midwin Charles and who worked at CNN and MSNBC as a legal analyst died a few days after receiving her vaccination. You are free to pick and choose which scenario works better as an explanation for DMX’s death. AFRIBEAN Magazine is choosing heart attack. Nothing more. Nothing else. These two other explanations are too heavily charged with hatred and resentment to contemplate any further. We need healing for our amazing Black King. We cannot take any more pain from “the system”, “the industry” or the “Plain White supremacy” – excuse the hospital’s name word play, even the staff showed some Ruff Ryder’s love.
DMX had been married to Tashera Simmons (who has earned her official blue check on Instagram and Twitter) for fourteen years. They had four children, including three sons and one daughter – Xavier, Tacoma, Sean and Mary Ella. Their story is the cutest Boogieman style fairytale you could think of to match the Ruff Ryder’s icon. “The Notebook” has nothing on how DMX and Tashera met and interacted with each other. I used to investigate every movements from this woman in all music video she was a part of, including the direction of any alleged fart from her, excuse my French. I needed to know what the woman who was worthy of being married to DMX at his best is made of. The commentary about her, the size of her nose, her look compared to her handsome husband were irrelevant once DMX validated her existence as the best p* he ever had …
He had a nine years, on-and-off relationship with an attention seeking model from Cuba, Yadira Borrego. They had two children, the aftermath of being crowned as Miss Florida in 2003, Miss Miami in 2010 then appearing in the music video for LL Cool J’s track “Headsprung”. DMX claimed to have been raped while he slept by one of his baby mothers who sued him for $1.5 million in a defamation lawsuit. From 2019, he has been posted as the Fiancé of Desiree Lindstrom with whom he had one son and was last, in a committed and happy relationship.
When his son Xavier appeared on a show by Iyanla Vanzant, Fix My life – Oprah Winfrey Network, on the 14th of April 2013, the reunion promised by the “inspirational speaker” failed to reach out to DMX in a respectful manner, as a Man, a Dad and OUR OG. The moment was recuperated to promote the host and the network for ratings more than for effective results to help a son and his Dad. Iyanla played Black African American’s favourite Auntie role, protecting an emotional musician to be in the son against an established musician in the Dad. These Black Aunties will sell you the idea that they can replace any Dad by the power of their overbearing personality and mouth. From this moment onwards, any show from OWN network, by Oprah, looked very opportunistic and destructive towards the Black community, i.e. Michael Jackson’s trial, R Kelly’s interview… Xavier’s Mom, Tashera, trying to push a pilot reality TV show to networks did not help the overall picture of these two building their “career” on the back of DMX’s legacy. I was so proud when I witnessed all rappers and friends of X shutting down, by any means available to them, this reality TV show from being accepted. The only time I liked 50 Cent so very much! He did not hold back on his Twitter account about this. Someone needs to protect the OG and the culture when women are not available to do it. The infantilisation of the Black man start with the support of the Black woman. By 2020, you could hear DMX referring to his ex-wife, Tashera, as a friend and someone he apologised to for the hurts, the outside children (six while married) and the hateful baby mamas. This reality TV would have never led to this peaceful point, neither for them or the audience. Our psyche would have been destroyed by the details of the pains experienced by all parties involved, who would have cash in while playing the Social Media’s clout games. The younger generation is watching, they really did not need to see that.
This is also why we saw this picture of DMX’s ex-wife Tashera and current Fiancée Desiree hugging each other while praying together for his safe recovery, outside this Hospital where he transitioned. His fiancée is his fiancée since 2019, according to her own Social media posts. They have one son and plenty of family pictures published online with no headlines from the blogs about their stable relationship. No drama, no coverage. DMX, which the fiancée refers to as “her stink”, look happy, balanced and not the victim of an attention seeking wannabe famous partner. I have paid attention years ago to the regular posts from one of his baby mothers, which does not need to be mentioned here, and it was tragic and heart-breaking as a fan to witness. Some women are in it for leverage, for competition and to use the “opportunity”.
Yes, when no one cared to watch DMX, I paid attention to who was privileged to share his life and how they handled it. You have your reality TV shows, I have mine. I needed my own explanation as to why these women failed to grab his attention for long enough and “fix” him like Aaliyah mere presence did. Aaliyah was that butterfly DMX was proud to be around. It exudes in their videos and every footage they are together. Show me ONE footage where DMX show up drunk, high, or incoherent and baby girl is around. NONE is available. Why? LOVE. Tashera, his ex-wife, did stated in an interview that DMX was respectful towards her and their children and would never do his “thing” around them. A man will volunteer to drop every vice, every shortcoming, every addiction that could get in the way of a relationship with a woman he would love to be with. The same man will pick back up all of his false promises right where his love interest left him to do so. Black women have a nurturing side based not on skin colour but on culture and nature. It is in our identity. When you witness people looking like you are being targeted by violence, malevolence, or systemic dismissal, you develop an automatic survival mechanism as a response to ensure saving, healing, and supporting your own people. Black women do not lose their sleep when extending their hand to people in needs. The Mammy syndrome (the baby sitter, cook and cleaner from slavery days) step in when feeling taken advantage of. Like a parasite in need of a host, the Mammy syndrome can only strive with Black women, the only known candidate to Black men and their problems. Black women have no issue to be a Mom to their own. Someone need to be human towards the Black man. Protecting their own mental health by reclaiming their identity as Woman first, is the line that is not drawn in many relationships full of pain and resentment. Black women need to reclaim their femininity through self-care, self-esteem and higher standards for themselves – like hypergamy and pursuit of their own dreams or happiness. Acts of services cannot and must not be served from an empty cup.
When the foster care CHECK is more important than the foster care CHILD
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BY: Sylvaine FRANCIS