Black Polygamy is an idea that is rising with the reality of Black wealth. Beyond celebrities, the media is recently acknowledging the existence of men with resources, “high value” men.
Sunday series: reflection on US, Black people and our relationship with ourselves and unsolicited relationships with others (unsolicited because “slavery was 400 years ago, get over it” reflexes from everyone around us – except us).
Transcript from the viral video:
I am not a selfish lover. I want to be in the type of union where there is another energy involved, a divine feminine energy, that is caring for “MY MAN” and my children when I am away. I want it and I will have it.
And she will respect and honour me, and appreciate the fact that I am welcoming her into our business and family.
And she is gonna love me. And she is gonna love him. And we are all gonna be great to each other. And he gonna be so amazing to me, that I am gonna want him to have some extra variety. And I ain’t gonna want him to feel like he’s got to hide nothing from me.
Or like he is cheating. Or nothing like that. We are gonna find you whatever you like. Including sexually …. Watch the full video: link
The words are groundbreaking. The energy and demeanor from this woman delivering them are still very monogamist. If you have not identified here a “wife” taking ownership of her men’s private moments, rather than “allowing” it to become his private cheating, we don’t know what to tell you.
This woman has really taken over her man’s masculinity and is catering for “HER” relationship to be a happy one by adding, under her close supervision, another woman’s free room services. She really let it be known that the other woman is not on the same boss lady level than her by not talking about these phone calls SHE is receiving when million dollar contracts have been successfully negotiated by her man and the other woman. The power struggle dynamic is non-existent in her narrative. She sounds more like an exclusive “Madam” handling her man’s escort. What if one of them is offering more than her, beauty, femininity, quality time and business opportunities wise? She already gives you that vibe where you know she will not go down THAT road without a fight for HER position. So was that an accurate representation of “Black Polygamy“?
Black men, the balanced ones, naturally indulge in multiple partnerships. The ones who believe in love take their time to break up with one before moving on to the next one. The ones who are playing the field, with that recurrent “waiting for the ONE” line, impose their abundant choices by not expecting to be asked any questions. Enter the “Alpha” notion. Polygamy is still not a scenario these women are going for, nor these lucky attractive men. Led by their need to fill a personal void, plenty end up in single parenthood situationship, where the very “in love” final candidates have the baby but cannot claim the men. Their villagy family structure provide, often not always, a similar structure than a polygamy: no one agreed officially to it but no one want to leave (or lose). In the best case scenario, when the men are capable of providing financially for all these different “baby mothers”, everyone gets on with each other, brother and sisters are growing up shielded from the aggressive competition between mothers. Faced with limited resources, only love stops these men from being attacked by all these different women with child support claims and revengeful street fights from disgruntled and exhausted unmarried mothers.
Black Polygamy is an idea that is rising with the reality of Black wealth. Beyond celebrities, the media is recently acknowledging the existence of men with resources, “high value” men. These specimens are educated, business savvy and can provide a good lifestyle to their partners, putting them for the first time in the position to consider the problems and solutions required to stay in a relationship, rather than going through divorce in case of an affair. These “republican” pickles were not experienced by enough liberal, Black democrats, to not be spat at or rejected on the ground of religious upbringing. This should explain the recent shifts in conversation regarding men with money (lonely and looking for a relationship in the past, “high value” in lockdown situations today).
Would you engage in a relationship based on anything else than yours and your future family? A real question for those who are now excusing or defending Black Polygamy: they might have grown together into it after years of being in a relationship. Breaking their wealth or ability to be a power couple, when love is no longer on the table but others are sitting around it, would be the factor helping polygamy over struggling monogamy. Will Smith and Jada were the best example of what happens when your open mind bumps on your environment with closed mindsets. Can Black Polygamy be not just open relatio nship but “out of the closet” free relationship between couples and temporarily interested candidates? Monique gave us the same vibe than this woman from this clip. She is the wife. She loves her husband. And there was a lot of jubilating humiliation of any temporary new third-wheels. From her own account, the other partners were subjected to some sleek comments from husband and wife about their “temporary” position. Is it polygamy? Or is it “fix a couple” with your plate? Looks pretty free from the outside looking in!
Unless a real power dynamic exists between all parties involved, these polygamists rarely sound like they really are just not helping themselves to the youthful and rejuvenating energy from new people. What do they offer, apart from their precious sense of “welcome to my amazing couple” self? Do they split the inheritance in case of death? Do they provide insurance coverage in case of injury or depression, or are you replaced for better candidates who are still “working”? Are the other children safe to stay for a long period of time? Or is it just replacing the burden of having more children thus enjoying a lively house full of youngin playing?
Polygamy has failed to express itself in its true form with many Black couples, celebs or non-famous public figure. Many sound more like candidates for other people gravy train: faster, younger or better. A solution to being discarded due to age or obsolescence against the new generation. Only when you see these couples literally choosing to live in the same house, 24/7, and make arrangements to navigate around restrictions from their ability to all get married, do you really believe these Black Polygamists? Do they convince you or have they found a solution to their roles reversal or gender confusion?
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BY: Sylvaine FRANCIS