Black on Black Dating: Monogamy, Polygamy & Roster #BlackMasters

Jul 12, 2020

Will and Jada’s relationship, their open minded views on marriage and their own children’s friends are shaking everyone tables

Sunday series: reflection on US, Black people and our relationship with ourselves and unsolicited relationships with others (unsolicited because “slavery was 400 years ago, get over it” reflexes from everyone around us – except us).

Will and Jada‘s relationship, their open minded views on marriage and their own children’s friends are shaking everyone tables: married couples, mistresses, side dudes, baby mammas, singles and ready to sugar (daddy/mammy) mingle …
What is THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS? Will Smith defined it perfectly in this 2006 movie, where he played Chris Gardner. As a homeless man, in this movie, Gardner knew what he wanted out of life for his son. He was ready to defend his right to a better future even from a homeless shelter.

Monogamy (the practice of marrying or state of being married to one person at a time) is imposed by law. You cannot land in a developed Country and marry your list of chosen brides even if they consent to it. Countries where Black people mainly reside do not tolerate polygamy on any documents. After being made slaves then freed into a life of struggles, poverty or oppression Olympics with belief systems based on Christianity, you would think you could get a discounted solution to brace yourself fighting high rents, low wages and brutal treatments from the outside world. Everywhere monogamy is implemented, it has been sustained by pragmatic words like “affair“, “mistress” or “side chick” … to balance the impracticability of “having a sexual relationship with only one partner“. Bill Clinton didn’t need Monica Lewinsky to be contented as the President of the United States. His wife did something to avoid this situation behind closed doors. This couple survived embarrassments and a lawsuit: Monica is known, to date, for gathering the evidences of her own ordeal, according to how the story was reported. How young do you have to get them before feeling guilty of any wrong doing?

Who cannot have a relationship with only one partner? Men can do it! When they are smart enough to choose a life partner who truly enjoy their company, a woman who will not start getting bored with spending days away from “social media postings” with them, a woman who can appreciate real quality time with them. With or without a rewarding career, men and women can marry each other and hold values without the help of religions: in the case of Will and Jada (who are/were Scientologist), they believe in polyamory. The general consensus (the one that will get you a pat on the back from your community) is to believe in the same document that you signed with the institution handing it over to you!

Will Smith looks like a GARDENER? Did he caught his “Wife” with her living husband? Or did the public finally DO?

Women cannot do it! Fighting against patriarchy is not women’s main problem. Fighting the natural sense of dominance and masculinity that a simple union creates is woman’s problem. Women who just married are reputed to become these new YouTubers full of advice. They report every things they do and what their husbands said. It is not always about creating contents and gaining an audience, It sometimes looks like needing an audience to balance their unions. A few will be contented with a husband that provides without any abuses attached to this stay at home arrangement. Many women have expressed their dissatisfaction with a partner that did not live up to the excitement they imagined:

  • My husband is Nice (I don’t need to post it on social media to prove it to my exes)
  • My Boyfriend was focused on me only (I do not feel entitled and spiteful toward him)
  • My date had no other options than me (I felt immediately safe and this was reciprocated)

I hope these statements surprise you right now! We live in a society who watched Disney’s cartoons or Marvels’ movies. Disney stated that the neglected one will become a Princess. She or He will go from an ugly toad to a shiny star with a happy ending. Marvel always needs to find a villain to fight against. No one wakes up in the morning to just be superhero and great. Eggs have to be broken to make everyone omelettes!
Are you allowed to just be happy to be there? How can you display such “deviant traits” without stressing your Marvel and Disney-fed environment? A Society who believe in stressful scripts and the need to identify bad to better see good can achieve monogamy: Nigga please. Patiently wait for the traditional wake up calls. Recovering cancer patients, miraculous car crash victims, near death experiences or testimonies of walking through a desert. I am exhausted just by thinking about human beings and their Sundays existential questions.

A lockdown has extended Sunday from Monday to Saturday. Rosters are for now how single Men protect themselves from the psychological games women play on themselves, on their environment and on their own partners. Next we will explain the psychology of Black women accepting to be part of a roster. And non-Black women gladly joining the party!


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BY: Sylvaine FRANCIS