CISHET and CISGENDER meaning:
A cishet person identifies as the gender they were assigned at birth and they are attracted to people of the opposite gender (source: healthline.com). What I seek is what I thought you did, too – societal normativity.
A cisgender is denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender corresponds with their birth sex (source: Oxford languages). What you see is what I got, too – visual normativity.
Being against the LGBTQ would be using your personal experiences with a few individuals and use it to promote an angle (your gender and its sexuality) over other ones – plain normativity.
Case in point: my first lesbian experience!
Back in the day, literally the 90’s (not the romantic version of it but the timeline, respect your elders, one), when the word cishet was not yet added to dictionaries to help anyone put a word on one’s actions/choices, a lesbian was a person who would let you know how bold and bad she is to act like a “stud”, fight like a man, take one of your girl and all the conflicts that such actions bring home to herself and her girlfriend. Family was mainly in shock, publicly disappointed, Dad was not having it and Mom was submissive but understanding. Mommy was often herself part of a roster (excuse the Caribbean sun and hot cultures)so she was really not trying to lose her position in Dad’s hierarchy!
Supporting her daughter in front of the competition was only done as private competition games between crazy in love women. Her love for Dad, the rooster, was torn between faithful as best as she could and her teenage lesbian who might go through a little phase. So my experience with said lesbian daughter was amusing! I was in love, like many teenagers, with this one guy, popular, handsome and amazing. Of course, as per roster rules (don’t blame R Kelly), he was giving me my attention whenever he feels like it. Myself, I was going through my hormonal changes and real personal identity issues. Being treated like that by my first love was a blow to my self-esteem, being relegated to “feel good” optional tool.
So my first lesbian was watching the game at play and chose the psychological warfare response instead of the “get to know me you might like it” strategy. She was constantly trying to make my situation work for her: her love for me or her egotistical need to achieve her target? To date I wonder. But the more arguments against Men and questions why would I stick to this situation of mine, the more arguments she helped me to find to stick to my own personal choices. And my response to her questions made her fall in love with me even deeper:
<< It’s about love for me not judging what a man does or should do with his own time! Do you understand love with any woman you have dated? >>.
Long story short, I had to give her the rapey vibe to get her off my case.
Being For or Against the LGBTQ community is void of sense! You like what you like. If you like it, I love it. Except (conditional love trigger warning):
- Cishet is used in lenghty discussion to dismiss heterosexual and their right to share their identity too, without consequences or financial penalty (who is the non black supremacist?)
- more than one sarcasm is included in a sentence that aims at being used in a conversation. It’s sassy and counter-productive for yourself
- Black people history is recuperated by your strong and organised Community, to the point of misleading new generation into believing that our original Black heroes were twerkers or coveted gay/lesbians
- Sexuality is being assumed not respected when talking about a dead person: when alive they made the choice to not come out. Just respect the dead. Our ancestors might have known something about that respect. Even if wrong!
- Coordinated publishing/postings of articles and conversations attempting to push ideas on people who originally said: “no thank you” – “Why you should date a bisexual, Sis? ; “Why not dating a trans is homophobic?” ; “Why you should be happy to find out that your husband and father of your children is a down low man (and your competition is his best-friend)?” ….
The above is not a threat of not loving the LGBTQ community. The above is a list of promises of what happens when you try but fail to impose a power – that even Governments don’t have – on human beings that will fight back. And tragically, by any means necessary (insert Police Brutality against Trans people, senseless bullying or attacks against innocent and unproblematic teenagers).
Having a strong community is not just a power. It also entails so much responsibilities that will not necessarily give you that cool “illuminati” swag. Gay agenda as a conspiracy theory is not building anyone wallets consistently – except behind closed doors, but you don’t want to be back in anyone closet or pockets, do you? Gay diary is so much sexy, achieving movies, litterature, movements … away from the cishet lifestyle and personal right to BREATHE.
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BY: Sylvaine FRANCIS